There has been a lot of buzz about swine flu, and now it seems like they've got it under control. What I'm concerned about is that a far deadlier strain is still flying under the radar: bear flu.
Some quick facts about bear flu:
- It comes from bears, obviously; it causes flu-like symptoms for them. For humans the symptoms include slurry speech, heightened sense of smell, mauling other humans, and eating 100 lbs of food per day.
- It's transmitted by microorganisms shaped like bears, which use their powerful swimming ability to rapidly travel through the bloodstream. There is no cure for bear flu, you can only hope to contain it.
- A number of explanations for Kennedy's assassination have been posited over the years, but the new du jour theory is that bear flu did him in.
- Bear flu is the #2 threat to our nation's security, behind only actual bears themselves.
There you have it - the cat is out of the bag. Be safe.
I think Ron Artest might have bear flu...what a monster
ReplyDeleteFrightening stuff...you'd think they'd mention something so deadly in medical school.
ReplyDeleteYeah the bear media has done an incredible job keeping it under wraps. Most news outlets are actually now owned by bears.
ReplyDeletebears can't even type a keyboard or hold a microphone...how is this possible? I am baffled.
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